JH
Jason H.
You do realise that Vampires aren't real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
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Welcome to SaverLife
Welcome to SaverLife
You do realise that Vampires aren't real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock 
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I've finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
its cool
Which room does a ghost not need?
A living room 
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How does a giraffe find a job?
Through neckworking.
What did one toilet say to the other tiolet?
You look a bit flushed 
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How does the Earth keep itself clean?
With a meteor shower.
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut 🥔.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What does a cloud wear under their raincoat?
Thunderwear 
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My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
We got a long well.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents 
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What do you call peanuts with guns?
Packing Peanuts.
What does a house wear?
Address 
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you".
How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet 
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Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk 🥛.
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"
I don't take my dog to the park anymore because the ducks keep trying to bite him.
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog 
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I was kidnapped by mimes once.
They did unspeakable things to me.
Do you know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because elephants are really good at it 
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